Skibowl was wet

The sunshine in this picture is a good indicator of what the race course didn't look like on raceday last Sunday. It was terrifying. Lots of THE FORCE was needed to safely navigate the race course with slim to no visibility.

Rain+goggles+no trees+35 mph=death.

That was the tits Tuesday: last Sunday

What was the tits, you ask?

Me and Phil riding with Steve Smith two days ago. We shredded huckerland/Falls City, which actually had some pretty good stuff to ride. The whole Evil bikes posse came down from Seattle/Vancouver for a demo day at Falls City, and Steve came down too.

Lots of actual bike riding happened, but plenty of hucking happened, too. The New World Disorder film crew was out there with Brandon Semenuk, too, and we hit the same new wooden step-up that'll be in the movie, so that was sweet.



























































































Good times. That was the tits.

Skibowl. More to come...

That was the tits Tuesday:

Detroit Rock City?


Great song:





Great trail:





































Pretty bad movie, but so good:




Before KISS was really old and Gene Simmons had to have his prostate checked daily, that was the tits.

WARNING! from TEAM ROBOT

METAL MONDAY !!!

old stuff for your ear holes.
Pfunk.

Greg Herbold cut the course in 1990=best site ever

This site's amazing: http://www.site.hbcutthecoursein1990.com/Home.php

Favorite excerpts:

"OK, so the other day a fellow tried to make the case that HB did not, indeed, cut the course. After careful consideration I have blown three holes in his argument:

This person is foreign

This person was not from America, and

These colors don’t run

This site does not promote prejudice in any way and embraces all, but since none of his points seem to hold water, we do not see a compelling reason to change our entire premise."


















On Duncan Riffle: "Nice lightning bolt tattoos on the back of your legs. Those would be obnoxious on Peaty or Minnaar or Hill. You know, the fast guys. Granted, you’ve gotten faster lately…but not lightning-bolts-on-the-back-of-legs fast. And definitely not condom-company-as-a-sponsor fast."


On Brian Lopes: "Never has one so talented done so little for the sport of mountain biking.

PS. Put a fucking shirt on. You ever see any other, repeat: any other professional mountain bikers sitting around with their shirt off? You could wear an Ibis or Kenda T-shirt and rep your sponsors...or maybe you're content with having your name on every fucking component on your bike. Oh, and those El Moco tires of yours, well done. Kenda makes good tires, but I'd stick my dick in a beehive before riding your piece of shit "55" logo'd jobbies again."























On independent bike dealers:

"fuck·tard (fuk’tard) n.

1. A foolish or stupid person.
2. A person of profound mental retardation, usually owning a bicycle shop and generally unable to learn about the product he/she wants to sell. In order to make money. No seriously, these people want to keep everything the same so that they don’t have to learn from year to year. Oh…did we mention "massive sense of entitlement?"



Pretty much the best site ever.

Patrick plus tree equals high

Sweet picture of Patrick way up there in Laurelhurst park. Dialed picture courtesy of Cory Tepper Brofessional photographer.


Speaking of high, Missy Giove got busted for smuggling 400 pounds of pot. I'm a boy scout, so I have no idea how much that really is, but it sounds like a lot. It apparently didn't all fit in Missy's trailer that see got busted with.






WARNING!! ACTUAL COMMENT FROM PINKBIKE ABOUT MISSY GIOVE DRUG BUST:

"I don't know much about this guy here but he looks like a pinner with his expression and bike (foes are badass) Not really suprised he got caught."

I'm retiring from the internet

I love watching videos on the internet. That joy has brought you pages of retarded team robot posts, and has kept me very entertained.

The bummer about looking at videos on the internet is that you never know what you are going to get, much like life when you are a quasi-retarded runner/soldier/commercial fisherman/multimillionaire with a southern accent.

When I look at videos on pinkbike, there is a very good chance they will suck. After all, most pinkbike users are canadian, and think that Transition makes the BEST BIKES EVER. If you hate me for my lack of respect for Transition, please note that "Transition" is capitalized and "canada" or "canadian" isn't.

Anyway, I was suspicious when I saw this video. It said "Daryl riding Vedder." Vedder is a canadian riding spot in Chilliwack, BC, and Daryl? I thought maybe that was referring to Team Pinkbike's own Darryl Bartlett.























Darryl's a pretty fast rider with okay results, he always wears fancy matching kits, and he never seems to smile, at least when I've been around. Basically he is their team's patrick:






















Well, watching Patrick ride is always fun, so I figured I'd see if this movie didn't suck. It was made in canada, so the music would probably suck, but whatever, right?


Wrong. Daryl24's profile picture was the first clue:






Things didn't look good, but I pressed on. When I started the movie, I stopped it in one second flat:
















On first instinct, I stopped the video immediately. But let's explore this a little deeper...
















Kona? check

canadian? check?

Stupid skeleton T-shirt in profile picture? check

Clearly 14 years old? check

Single crown plus full face indicating imminent bad attempts at "style," "tricks," or (worst of all) "style tricks?" check

Wierd sideways head cock to denote false sense of humor/coolness? check

Still canadian? double check



Careful kids. Surfing the internet can be fun, but if you're not looking out, innocent attempts to watch actually good bike riding can result in horrible things, like watching canadians ride bikes. I'm not really retiring from the internet.